- Good morning. - Good morning.
Here ye, here ye, 10 minutes to go till Van Dort's wedding rehearsal.
Watch it!
- It's a beautiful day - It's a rather nice day
A day for a glorious wedding
A rehearsal, my dear To be perfectly clear
A rehearsal for a glorious wedding
Assuming nothing happens That we don't really know
That nothing unexpected Interferes with the show
And that's why everything Every last little thing
Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing Must go
- According to plan - Our son will be married
- According to plan - Our family carried
Elevated to the heights of society
- To the costume balls - In the hallowed halls
Rubbing elbows with the finest
Having crumpets with Her Highness
We'll be there, we'll be seen Having tea with the queen
We'll forget everything That we've ever, ever been
- Blimey! It's my dress is caught. - Begging your pardon, ma'am.
- Come on, dear. - It's not me. It's my dress is caught.
Where is Victor? We might be late.
Fish merchants.
- It's a terrible day - Now, don't be that way
It's a terrible day for a wedding
It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in
That has led to this ominous wedding
How could our family have come to this?
To marry off our daughter To the nouveau riche
- They're so common - So coarse
- Oh, it couldn't be worse - Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree
They could be land-rich, Bankrupt aristocracy
Without a penny to their name
Just like you and me
Oh, dear.
And that's why everything Every last little thing
Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing Must go
- According to plan - Our daughter will wed
- According to plan - Our family led
From the depths of deepest poverty
- To the noble realm - Of our ancestry
And who would have guessed In a million years
- That our daughter with a face - Of an otter in disgrace
Would provide our ticket To a rightful place
Oh, Hildegarde.
What if Victor and I don't like each other?
As if that has anything to do with marriage.
Do you suppose your father and I like each other?
Surely you must a little?
- Of course not. - Of course not.
Get those corsets laced properly.
I can hear you speak without gasping.
You've certainly hooked a winner this time, Victor.
- Now, all you have to do is reel her in. - I'm already reeling, Mother.
Shouldn't Victoria Everglot be marrying a lord or something?
Oh, nonsense! We're every bit as good as the Everglots.
I always knew I deserved better than a fish merchant's life.
But I've never even spoken to her.
Well, at least we have that in our favor.
Mayhew! Silence that blasted coughing.
Marriage is a partnership, a little tit for tat.
You'd think a lifetime watching us...
Might have taught her that
- Might have taught her that - Everything must be perfect
- Everything must be perfect
Perfect That's why everything
Every last little thing
Every single, tiny, microscopic little thing Must go
According to plan
Look at the way you're standing.
You look like you got rickets or something...
Oh, my goodness. Oh, such grandeur! Such impeccable taste!
Oh, beautiful, innit?
It's not as big as our place, dear.
- Bit shabby really, isn't it? - Shut up.
Lord and Lady Everglot...
...Mr. And Mrs. Van Dort.
Why, you must be Miss Victoria.
Yes, I must say, you don't look a day over 20. No. Oh, yes.
Smile, darling, smile.
Well, hello. What a pleasure. Welcome to our home.
Thank you.
We'll be taking tea in the west drawing room.
Oh, do come this way, it's just through there.
Oh, I love what you've done with the place. Who is your decorator?
Nice tiles, shame about the drapes.
My husband says such foolish things. Ignore him.
Yes, it's usually best.
- Do forgive me. - You play beautifully.
I... I... I do apologize, Miss Everglot. How rude of me to... Well...
Excuse me.
Mother won't let me near the piano.
Music is improper for a young lady.
Too passionate, she says.
If I may ask, Miss Everglot...
...where is your chaperon?
Perhaps, in... In view of the circumstances...
...you could call me Victoria.
Yes, of course. Well...
- Victoria... - Yes, Victor.
Tomorrow, we are to be m...
M... M...
- Married. - Yes. Married.
Since I was a child, I've... I've dreamt of my wedding day.
I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with.
Someone to spend the rest of my life with.
- Silly, isn't it? - Yes, silly.
No. No, not at all, no.
Oh, dear. I'm sorry.
What impropriety is this?
You shouldn't be alone together.
Here it is, one minute before 5, and you're not at the rehearsal.
Pastor Galswells is waiting. Come at once.
Master Van Dort, from the beginning. Again.
"With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.
Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.
With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.
With this ring, I ask you to be mine."
- Let's try it again. - Yes. Yes, sir.
With this candle...
This candle...
This candle.
- Shall I get up there and do it for him? - Don't get all aflutter, dear.
With this candle...
Continue!
Get the door, Emil.
Let's just pick it up at the candle bit.
A Lord Barkis, sir.
I haven't a head for dates.
Apparently, I'm a day early for the ceremony.
- Is he from your side of the family? - I can't recall.
Emil, a seat for Lord Barkis.
Do carry on.
Let's try it again, shall we, Master Van Dort?
- Yes. Yes, sir. Certainly. - Right.
Right. Oh, right!
- With this... This... - Hand.
With this hand...
...I... With...
Three steps, three!
Can you not count? Do you not wish to be married, Master Van Dort?
- No! No. - You do not?
No! I meant, no, I do not not wish to be married.
That is, I want very much to...
Pay attention! Have you even remembered to bring the ring?
The ring? Yes. Of course.
- Dropping the ring. - Oh, no, he's dropped the ring!
- This boy doesn't want to get married. - How disgraceful!
Excuse me. Got it!
Out of the way, you ninny.
Oh, dear! Oh, my! Giddy on, there's a woman on fire! Help! Emergency!
- Oh, I hope it doesn't stain. - Stop fanning it, you fool.
- Get a bucket, get a bucket. - I'm on my way, dear. Yes. Oh, dear!
Enough! This wedding cannot take place until he is properly prepared.
Young man, learn your vows.
Well, he's quite the catch, isn't he?
Oh, Victoria.
She must think I'm such a fool. This day couldn't get any worse.
Hear ye, hear ye! Rehearsal in ruins as Van Dort boy causes chaos!
Fishy fiancé could be canned!
Everglots all fired up as Van Dort disaster ruins rehearsal!
It really shouldn't be all that difficult.
It's just a few simple vows.
With this hand, I will take your wine.
No.
With this hand...
...I will cup your...
Oh, goodness, no.
With this...
With this candle, I will...
I will...
I will set your mother on fire.
Oh, it's no use.
With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.
Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.
Mrs. Everglot.
You look ravishing this evening.
What's that, Mr. Everglot? Call you "Dad"? If you insist, sir.
With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.
With this ring...
...I ask you to be mine.
I do.
You may kiss the bride.
- A new arrival. - He must've fainted.
- Are you all right? - What..? What happened?
By Jove, man. Looks like we've got ourselves a breather.
- Does he have a dead brother? - He's still soft.
A toast, then.
To the newlyweds.
Newlyweds?
In the woods, you said your vows so perfectly.
I did?
I did.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
Coming through, coming through.
My name is Paul, I am the head waiter.
I will be creating your wedding feast.
Wedding feast! I'm salivating.
Maggots.
Keep away!
I've got a... I've got a dwarf.
And I'm not afraid to use him. I want some questions. Now!
- Answers. I think you mean "answers." - Thank you, yes, answers.
I need answers. What's going on here? Where am I?
Who are you?
Well, that's kind of a long story.
What a story it is.
A tragic tale of romance, passion...
...and murder most foul.
This is gonna be good.
Hit it, boys.
Hey, give me a listen You corpses of cheer
At least those of you Who still got an ear
I'll tell you a story Make a skeleton cry
Of our own jubiliciously Lovely Corpse Bride
Die, die, we all pass away
But don't wear a frown Because it's really okay
You might try and hide And you might try and pray
But we all end up The remains of the day
That's right.
Well, our girl was a beauty Known for miles around
When a mysterious stranger Came into town
He was plenty good-looking But down on his cash
And our poor little baby She fell hard and fast
When her daddy said no She just couldn't cope
So our lovers came up With a plan to elope
Die, die, we all pass away
But don't wear a frown Because it's really okay
You might try and hide And you might try and pray
But we all end up The remains of the day
That's right.
Okay. Oh, yeah. Come on, boys, pick it up.
Yeah. Like it.
Okay, Chancy, take it.
Yeah.
Yeah!
That's nice.
So they conjured up a plan To meet late at night
They told not a soul Kept the whole thing tight
Now, her mother's wedding dress Fit like a glove
You don't need much When you're really in love
Except for a few things Or so I'm told
Like the family jewels And a satchel of gold
Then next to the graveyard By the old oak tree
On a dark foggy night At a quarter to 3
She was ready to go But where was he?
And then?
- She waited - And then?
- There in the shadows, was it her man? - And then?
- Her little heart beat so loud - And then?
And then, baby, everything went black
Now, when she opened her eyes She was dead as dust
Her jewels were missing And her heart was bust
So she made a vow Lying under that tree
That she'd wait for her true love To come set her free
Always waiting for someone To ask for her hand
Then out of the blue Comes this groovy young man
Who vows forever To be by her side
And that's the story Of our Corpse Bride
Die, die, we all pass away
But don't wear a frown, Because it's really okay
You might try and hide And you might try and pray
But we all end up The remains of the day
Yeah.
Victoria, come away from the window.
Oh, I'm sure he'll be back shortly.
He's terrified of the dark. In fact, when he was a boy...
...he used to wet his combinations regularly, didn't he, William?
Enter.
Lord Barkis. I trust the room is to your liking.
Thank you, you are a most gracious hostess.
Which is why it pains me to be the bearer of such bad news.
Would you care to repeat tonight's headline for us?
Hear ye, hear ye!
Victor Van Dort seen this night on the bridge in the arms of a mystery woman!
The dark-haired temptress and Master Van Dort slipped away into the night!
And now, the weather. Scattered showers...
Enough! That will be all.
Mystery woman? He doesn't even know any women!
Or so you thought.
Do call for me if you need my assistance...
...in any way.
Good heavens, Finis, what should we do?
Fetch me musket.
William, do something.
The town crier probably just had a slow news day.
You know how it is, you need a little something to cry about.
Regardless, we are one groom short for the wedding tomorrow.
Not to mention the financial implications.
A most scandalous embarrassment for us all.
Oh, give us a chance to find him, we beg of you.
- Just give us until dawn. - Very well. Till dawn.
Victor, darling, where are you?
If you ask me, your boyfriend is kind of jumpy.
He's not my boyfriend, he's my husband.
Victor, where have you gone?
I'll keep an eye out for him.
Victor?
There he goes, there he goes! He's... He's getting away!
Quick, quick, after him!
Victor.
Thank you.
Victor!
Where are you?
Victor?
Where have you gone?
Married, huh? I'm a widow.
Oh, how rude. He went that way!
Victor.
Victor, darling.
Please. There's been a mistake. I'm not dead.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Excuse me. - Excuse me.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Victor.
- Dead end. - Victor!
Hello!
Could have used the stairs, silly.
Isn't the view beautiful? It takes my breath away.
Well, it would if I had any.
Isn't it romantic?
Look, I am terribly sorry about what's happened to you...
...and I'd like to help, but I really need to get home.
- This is your home now. - But I don't even know your name.
Well, that's a great way to start a marriage.
Shut up!
- It's Emily. - Emily.
Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you.
It's a wedding present.
Thank you.
Scraps?
Scraps!
My dog, Scraps!
Oh, Scraps, what a good boy.
I knew you'd be happy to see him.
Who's my good boy? Sit. Sit, Scraps, sit.
Good boy, Scraps. Roll over. Roll over.
Good boy, Scraps. Play dead.
Sorry.
Oh, what a cutie.
You should have seen him with fur.
Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this.
But then again, she never approved of anything.
Do you think she would have approved of me?
You're lucky you'll never have to meet her.
Well, actually...
...now that you mention it, I think you should.
In fact, since we're, you know...
...married, you should definitely meet her.
And my father too. We should go and see them right now.
What a fantastic idea! Where are they buried?
- What? What is it? - They're not from around here.
Where are they?
Oh, they're still alive.
- I'm afraid so. - Well, that is a problem.
What's that, Scraps?
Oh, no, we couldn't possibly.
- Oh, well, if you put it like that. - What?
Elder Gutknecht.
Scraps.
Elder Gutknecht...
...are you there?
Hello? Is anyone home?
Hello?
There you are!
Oh, my dear. There you are.
I've brought my husband, Victor.
What's that? Husband?
Pleasure to meet you, sir.
We need to go up. Upstairs? To visit the land of the living.
Land of the living?
Oh, my dear.
Please, Elder Gutknecht.
Now, why go up there, when people are dying to get down here?
Sir, I beg you to help. It means so much to me...
- Us. - I don't know, it's just not natural.
Please, Elder Gutknecht.
Surely there must be something you can do.
Let me see what I can do.
Where did I put that book?
I left it here somewhere.
There's the one.
I have it.
A Ukrainian haunting spell. Just the thing for these quick trips.
- So glad you thought of this. - Me too.
Now, then...
...where were we?
The Ukrainian haunting spell?
Here we have it. Ready?
Just remember, when you want to come back, say "Hopscotch."
- Hopscotch? - That's it.
I spent so long in the darkness...
...I’d almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is.
Hey, I think you dropped something.
Hold on, hold on.
I think I should prepare Mother and Father for the big news.
I'll go ahead and you...
...wait here.
- Perfect. - I won't be long.
Stay right here. I'll be right back.
Okay.
No peeking.
If ever I see that Van Dort boy...
...I'll strangle him with my bare hands.
Your hands are too fat, and his neck is too thin.
You'll have to use a rope.
This is the voice of your conscience. Listen to what I say.
I have a bad feeling about that boy. You know he is no...
Go chew someone else's ear for a while.
Victor has gone to see his parents, just like he said.
If I hadn't just been sitting in it, I would say that you had lost your mind!
I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason for taking so long.
I am sure he does. Why don't you go ask him?
All right, I will.
After all, he couldn't get far with those cold feet.